Poems Part One

You’ll have to let me know if you like an introduction to each poem or if you’d rather just read the poems. We’ll try it this way first. And please know, that if these poems relate to you in a different way than they do me, keep it that way. You don’t have to read the words through my eyes. Anger and I have always had a difficult relationship. I tend to shrink from it. I am very attentive to everyones movements, sighs, and tone of voice so I can sense the tension and know when to tip-toe or hide. Over the last couple of years, I have ver slowly made anger my friend. I wrote this poem when I was trying to find where the balance is between controlling the anger but also not being afraid of it and hearing what it has to say.

Rage rips through me
and I battle between
letting it out for my sake
and keeping it in for yours
-it’s clawing its way out

This one is about having a relationship with someone that is falling apart and you want so desperately to fix it. However, the other person doesn’t put the same effort in and you lose yourself trying to close the gap by yourself.

I can’t keep drowning to cross the
Ocean of disappointment between us
when you can’t even pick up your
Paddle to meet me in the boat you’re in
-can’t or won’t

This one is self-explanatory. I wrote this when I started to pick up on gaslighting patterns and noticed that in recognizing them I took away their power.

You poured the gas
and lit the match
But when the smoke
Cleared for once
I didn’t appear
-gaslighter, I’m not your victim anymore

I am so many things. I have so many thoughts. I have so many opinions. A lot of times I keep them quiet because I don’t feel safe or heard. I wrote this from the dark depths of the loneliness you feel when no one truly knows you.

My soul is a universe
when my sun shines
You close your eyes
-you’ll never know or understand me/my true self is not what you want to see