Poems Part Two

Can I just say, it is so incredibly difficult for me to choose what poems to post! Part of me scours my writing looking for a theme, striving for perfection. The other part of me thinks “Oh hell, be messy like life and just get your words out there!” So, here I am being messy and alive. Enjoy!

The sun shines in my windows just right
and sets the trees alight
The wind plays a tune only the trees dance to
and bird song makes it's debut
The mural changes with the seasons
each day giving me a reason
to look for the beauty we live in
and find my peace within
I think the universe knew
I need a room with a view
-Treetop Sanctuary

I finally built something safe
But I’m the only one here in this place
I could stay in this castle forever
Do anything I pleasure
But I’m putting up this door 
and hanging all this decor
Hoping my forever will walk in
and ask me “where have you been?”

I stand before you a beautiful
Universe
Of a 
Woman
But you will never know my depth
Cuz all you see is the 
Specimen
That my
Biological parts
Create
-I am more than my body

I opened my body to you
You promised to keep me safe
 Disrespect turned to destruction
I escaped
But you took a piece of me with you
-the truth

Listen to me
He
Took
Nothing
From 
You
He only made you think he did
-you’re still whole

Poem #1: I fought so long and hard to have a place of my own. I ended up in a third floor apartment in the suburbs. It is a unique unit because it doesn’t have a balcony. However, I have this giant window (and many other windows) with an amazing view of a bunch of trees. When you sit on the couch and look out the window, all you see are the treetops. I’ve always used nature to calm myself or to think. I feel like something/someone knew I needed everyday easy access to nature in my busy single mom life and I’m blessed to have it. A safe space that belongs to me with a reminder that there are beautiful things in the world even when it gets dark.

Poem #2: Going off of the previous poem, this one is also about my feelings of safety in my home with an added element of longing to share it with another adult. And the knowledge that there has to be a door for them to be able to walk past these walls I’ve put up.

Poem #3-5: The last three poems have a theme as well. Sexual abuse is one of those topics that has so many feelings around it. In the first poem I address the feeling of being used, lonely, and unknown. In the second, I approached the devastation that happens when the abuse comes from someone you thought you could trust the most and wondering if you’ll ever be whole again. The third and final poem is the confident finality in knowing that there is a life to keep on living and finding yourself again.