It’s that day again! The day single people dread and significant others scramble over. And then there’s the little kids that are just grateful for another excuse for a school party and candy! Surprisingly, I fit in neither of these categories. Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. And when I say that, I usually immediately feel judged. Hear me out though.

My absolute best memory of Valentine’s Day is when I was a kid. I don’t remember how old I was, probably 6 or so. My mom woke me up the night before and we snuck downstairs and into my dad’s car to decorate it. We taped cut out paper hearts with handwritten sayings on them conversation heart style on the windows and seats. We hung a banner across the rear windshield that said “I love you Dad!”. The final touch was a fake rose on the seat with his Valentine’s Day card. I absolutely loved doing that. I felt so excited and thrilled for his reaction. And I felt like I was showing him how special he is. Little did I know my mother had something similar in store for me. When I woke up on Valentine’s Day morning there were streamers hanging in my doorway. She had taped cut out paper hearts (some even layered) with conversation heart style sayings written on them (some even in glitter glue) to ribbons and hung them in my doorway. I love(d) those silly little things. These weren’t grand gestures or material based. These were just small things to show someone you love how much you think about them. Right there is the moment my thoughts on the spirit of Valentine’s Day unfurled. Throughout life I used my philosophy to do fun and thoughtful things for the people I love on Valentine’s Day. Also, those handmade streamers? They hang in my home every Valentine’s Day season. My mom had saved them and sent them to me when I went to college.

I can’t remember if I was in high school or college but I found a movie called “Valentine’s Day” with a bunch of famous actors in it. I watch it every year now because it was able to put out there exactly how I feel about this holiday. Love is love is love. And this day is for celebrating all kinds of love. Love between significant others, love between friends, love between parents and kids, etc. Don’t let society limit love on this holiday.

Now, I’m a single mom and I haven’t had any major love interests in 3 years. But am I bitter on Valentine’s Day? Not ever. I choose to spend it with my son and celebrating the love I have for him. However, below I’ve included some poems I’ve written over the past few years about finding a partner to love. Enjoy! And show someone you love them today, even if the gesture is small and inexpensive. The right person will appreciate it.

Your lines and my curves 
and playful words 
Create a piece of art 

The paint, slick and warm 
Elicits soft moans 
Stroking in places 
I’ve never known 

You draw my quiver 
The arrow you’ll deliver 
and make your mark on my heart 

The situation is impossible
Your beauty, improbable
an indefinite longing
Our paths never crossing

Hope and frustration
They silence my elation
and leave the sting
That loneliness brings
-give me something to believe in

The ease of all our conversations slips into my bones
Melting like the creme brulee on my tongue

The lust of all this time spreads through my blood
Rushing like the river

The kindness of our souls seeps into our words and touches
Shining in the night like stars

A glimpse of what could be
No longer just a dream
-still feels like one

And Just Remember. . .

The post It’s A Matter Of The Heart first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

Alright, alright, I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything really. But hear me out. From August to December life gets crazy. Back to school and then back to back holidays! Who came up with that calendar?! Anyway, my time to read steadily dwindled and with it, my finished books and my time to write. The ghost story I mentioned in my “Haunted by the Hands of Time” post? I never wrote it. Guys, it’s been rough. So I’m playing catch up with this post. Below are all the books I read from August 2022-December 2022. Let me know which one’s you’ve read in the comments! Some good Christmas/Winter themed book suggestions would be great too!

Reckless Girls by Rachel Hawkins

4 out of 5 stars

This is a great summer read! It’s basically a beachy thriller that switches between past and present. Written mostly from Lux’s point of view, a woman who experienced a tragedy and since then has been drifting. She has big travel dreams so when her and her boyfriend are offered $50,000 to take two girl on a deserted island vacation by boat, they agree. I decided to read this because I read and enjoyed Hawkins’ other book, The Wife Upstairs. Both of her books are quick read suspense novels.

In Five Years by Rebecca Serle

3 out of 5 stars

The premise behind this book is very intriguing. However, I found the ending to be lack-luster. The novel really isn’t a romance which is what it seems to be at the beginning. It’s a story about all relationships. If you’re into short books, it’s definitely for you.

Every Summer After by Carley Fortune

4 out of 5 stars

This book is a wonderful testament to what it’s like to be a teenager/young adult and in love when your circumstances are always changing. Everything is so complicated in that time. You’re finding out who you are and so is everyone else. Making mistakes. Testing boundaries. Everything is complicated. Then, circumstances bring the young group of friends back together and they have to re-familiarize themselves with each other.

The Bodyguard by Katherine Center

4 out of 5 stars

I really enjoyed the romance between the main characters but I wasn’t a huge fan of the actual storyline. Mostly because it was so quirky/light-hearted. I’m just not into that too much. I’m unsure if I’ll be reading any more books by Katheirne Center. I do love the cover and the spine with all of it’s floral attributes though!

Rock Paper Scissors by Alice Feeney

4 out of 5 stars

THE TWIST. Trying to puzzle out the mystery is so hard! I didn’t see it coming. Read it. A perfect winter mystery! Feeney also has a new novel out called Daisy Darker. I am looking into reading that one as well.

Love on The Brain by Ali Hazelwood

4 out of 5 stars

Ali Hazelwood does it again with “Love on the Brain.” Last year I read “The Love Hypothesis.” That was her debut novel. It was SO GOOD. This one doesn’t disappoint either! A romance novel you won’t forget.

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James

5 out of 5 stars

It’s official. Simone St. James is on my “favorite authors” list. A heart-felt story about a group of teenage girls with trauma who become friends while placed in an orphanage. One of them goes missing. Meanwhile, in the present, a woman is haunted by the disappearance of her sister. She goes on a mission to find the truth.

Darling Girl by Liz Michalski

4 out of 5 stars

I was so excited to read this story due to it’s twist on Peter Pan. In the end though, I wasn’t as impressed as I thought I’d be. In this novel, Peter Pan is cast as a villain. It delves into the Darling family, their relationships, and the impact Peter Pan has had on their lives. If you like re-tellings like Circe, you will probably like this too!

The House Across the Lake by Riley Sager

5 out of 5 stars

Riley Sager is another author that has made his way on my favorite author’s list. He is an author with an affinity for twists you don’t see coming. This book has the slightly over-used drunk/drugged traumatized woman watching neighbors from windows trope. The twists and the characters all make it worth it though.

Not A Happy Family by Shari Lapena

4 out of 5 stars

Lapena had me constantly guessing “who-did-it” all the way to the end. I liked that this novel of Lapena’s was a little more lengthy than her usual. I felt like it was a successful branching out for her.

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill

4 out of 5 stars

A horror Christmas novel? Who would’ve thought that exists?! Hill takes you on a journey following a child through adulthood and her trauma from an abduction by Charles Manx. By some wrongful miracle Manx escapes custody and seeks revenge. I was so happy I finally got to read this book! Christmas is usually too busy for me to be able to read a Christmas themed book but I made time for it this year.

The post Books I Read from August 2022-December 2022 first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

I would like to say that something catastrophic has been keeping me from working towards my life-long dream of supporting myself off my writing but alas, that is not the case. It’s just been regular ol’ life. When I started this website I told myself “you can’t let this website disappear,” “this is the year for your writing,” “you have to hustle,” etc. And look, it’s been months since I’ve posted. I’ve barely been reading. I haven’t been writing. I could sit here and beat myself up over it (and trust me I am to the point of tears), or I could give myself some grace and just pick up where I left off. Taking a break isn’t quitting right? You see, for most people this time of year is still easy. The holidays are coming but they aren’t here yet. But for a single mom in a leadership position, I’m being slammed by the series of holidays and events. They start with back to school for the kiddo and doesn’t end until the post-Christmas madness is put away. Instead of having the brain space and power to read and write, I’m left just wanting my brain to empty. I crave mindlessness and rest. The only space left for that though is wherever I can cram it. So just know, if I ever become a ghost of a writer I’ll always come back. I’m not giving up on this thing.

Let’s catch up on what I’ve been reading. Since my last post about books I’ve read I have finished a total of 6 books. That’s six books in 2 months. That’s 50% of what I’m normally capable of. However, I’m picking up speed so get ready. I’ll make a post later of the books I’ve been reading but for now just know some reviews are on their way!

Alright let’s get on to other things. Guys, it’s spooky season!! My absolute favorite is fall and I’m feeling in my element when I take a minute to enjoy it. Whether you’re a pumpkin fan or an apple fan or both (I won’t judge) this season is filled with so many fun things and amazing cool weather.

Fall
Crisp Chill
Scary Thrill
Leaves Aflame
Football Game

Knit Scarves
Pumpkins Carved
Grins Wider
Apple Cider

Blue Jeans
Chili Beans
Fuzzy Blankets
Candy Baskets

Bonfire heat
Trick or Treat
Hot Tea
Bye Bees

Reading, Writing
Decreased Lighting
Summer’s Over
Hello October

So, let’s talk spooky shit. I’ve been thinking a lot about ghosts. For some reason, this year whenever anything ghost related crops up I’m paying full attention. It’s inspiring a story in me but not just that. Ghosts haunt things. And who doesn’t have a ghost haunting them? I don’t necessarily mean a spirit causing weird noises in your home, although that’s possible. What I mean is anything that haunts you is basically a ghost. This time of year has a few difficult dates for me to get through. They haunt me. Whether I’m noticing it or not my mood changes when these days are approaching. It’s like my body remembers before my brain does. Anniversaries of trauma or anniversaries that are reminders of loss. And what’s closely related to anniversaries? Memories in general. You can be haunted by memories. I certainly am. Sometimes I let the memories grip me so tight it’s as if the memory is playing in front of me elder scrolls style.

The hands on the clock poke, prod, and dig
At my wound
It oozes when pushed like a button
The scab peels like a sticker
The hands dig and come out bloodied
Spreading the gore
-war paint

The thing about memories and nostalgia is that all the feelings you felt at that time come rushing back and follow you for a bit. It could be the memory of a parent that has passed which reminds you of what you lost. It could be the memory of “the one that got away” bringing up loss and loneliness. You think you’re past it. You think you’re healing but there are a million things in life that could act as triggers. Leaving you haunted once again. Words have a lot of power. Something someone said to you out of spite or to manipulate and bully you could be following you around your whole life, replacing your inner voice. Those words could be keeping you from your best self. People can haunt you. Although that kind of ties in with memories, words, and anniversaries. The same person could be involved in all of those things leaving you stuck. Maybe you or someone you love has a big birthday coming up (I’m turning 30 next year. Eek!) leaving you spooked by all the time that has passed and fear of the future.

Keep an eye out for my ghost story sometime this month! And have the happiest Halloween!

The post Haunted by the Hands of Time first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

I’m lucky enough to have lived near Lake Erie my whole life. Over the past few years craft shows in the area and local boutiques have become overrun with all things “lake life”. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with that. I always thought, why the lake? Don’t most people want the ocean beaches? But in the last week I’ve been to the lake twice and I realized something.

The lake is an ever-changing source of beauty in my life. I’ve never gone on a boat on Lake Erie and I avoid swimming in it from when there were tons of high bacteria level warnings. Not to mention, I’m also much more of a cool-and-dry person than hot-and-wet person. However, over the course of my life the lake is where I went to observe the beauty of nature and find a sense of peace.

My phone is littered with pictures of the lake. All of them are different. Some have the daytime pictures of the water or the sandy beach. Others are of sunsets, each lit up with different colors. The water is either rough and wavy, a mirror-like glass, or something in between. Even the pictures I’ve seen other people share of the lake when a storm is coming in contain the beauty of the anger those waves hold and the ominousness of the cloud covered sky. There are a few times I’ve ventured out on the lake beaches when the water is completely frozen over. The waves never completing their crash to the beach until spring thaws them out again.

Now, as a mother I still go there to enjoy nature but I’m also there to share the experience with my son. I love to observe what he chooses to get into while there. For example, today we brought a bucket and shovel to the beach. I expected him to dig in the sand with me and look for sea glass or shells or at the very least, rocks. Like all toddlers, his love for rocks is never-ending. He also wore his swim trunks which I tried to make him leave behind but he insisted. I figured we would hardly get wet because I wasn’t planning on having us swim. I let him put his feet in the water because I was doing it too and it would help wash the sand off. He never looked for shells or sea glass with me. He did however, throw an infinite amount of rocks into the lake. And when I was busy searching for sea glass, he took his bucket. Did he use it to collect shells? No. Did he use to collect sand or rocks? No. He went to the water’s edge and let the waves fill his bucket and proceeded to dump a bucketful of lake water on his head. So much for not needing the swim trunks right? I sighed the giant universal sigh of parenthood for an unforeseen mess ahead. Then I just let him have at it. He was already wet so it wasn’t worth telling him no and he had an absolute blast! I loved watching him laugh and explore Lake Erie just like every other time I’ve brought him. As a result, it brought me back to my recurring thoughts and dreams about someday having a way to get out on the water with him. Most likely this would be by jet ski, kayak, canoe, or paddleboard. And so through all of the stages of my life Lake Erie has been a place of peace, safety, beauty, joy, and inspiration. It is with this realization that I finally understand why the people in this area are proud of the “lake life”.

The post Lake Life first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

Book of Night by Holly Black

5 out of 5 stars

I was intrigued by this book because it is written by a popular young adult fantasy writer and is her first adult novel. Not to mention, it’s very interesting take on shadows. If you’re tired of the usual vampire/werewolf urban fiction stuff this book is right down your alley! It definitely ends with a lot of questions so I can’t wait for the sequel!

Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

5 out of 5 stars

Riley Sager has many many books in the horror genre. Thanks to Book of the Month and a dear friend, I decided to try one of his books. As you can tell from my 5 star rating I was very impressed! I’m definitely adding his other works to my to-read list. Psst he also just came out with a new book called The House Across the Lake. What I love most about my favorite horror/thriller books are giant totally-didn’t-see-it-coming twists! This one definitely has those. The haunted house and long-held secrets are just the sprinkles on top.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

3 out of 5 stars

I have one gaping hole of a genre as a reader and that is literary fiction. I don’t know quite how to explain it but I can’t stand some books that are literary fiction and more about symbolism and similar to books you’d be assigned in high school. This one fell in that category. I did read it all the way through (one time I read The Goldfinch by Donna Tart which also ended up in this assignment type feel category and I forced myself to read the whole thing. Huge waste of my time). It had a little excitement but for the most part I just wondered “what’s the point? where’s the action?”. It takes place in a pandemic induced apocalypse and follows multiple points of view.

The Burning Girls by C.J. Tudor

5 out of 5 stars

Oh. My. God. This. Book. Remember earlier when I mentioned that my favorite books have the crazy twists in them? This one has those. I literally had to back track and keep reading some sentences over again because my brain couldn’t process the twist even though I knew it was there. I’m still trying to puzzle what all the twists snowball into. On top of the twists, I really liked how the author made her main character a female single mother reverend. And pointed out the difficulties with that title. I hope to read more by C.J. Tudor.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

5 out of 5 stars

Dang! I have been reading some good books lately! This author writes in such a beautiful way that I wish I had more words to describe it. The characters and character development are top notch. I will be honest, I saw some of the ending coming BUT that is so low on the totem pole compared to everything else in the book. It follows the story of Elizabeth Zott who is a female chemist in the 1950s/60s who struggles to fight patriarchy in the world but especially in science. You also learn about the lives that Zott touches and the results of that interaction.

The post Books I Read in July 2022 first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

Britt Marie Was Here by Fredrik Backman

4 out of 5 stars

I have to give it to Fredrik Backman. He really has a way of creating a cooky character and making them likeable and also grow. I got hooked on his books after reading “A Man Called Ove.” I’ve also read “Anxious People.” I have no idea what order I’d put them in. They are all fantastic reads! He has a way of turning the turmoil and torture that a character is experiencing into moments of humor and understanding.

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

5 out of 5 stars

I read this book in a matter of hours late into the night. I couldn’t stop! This book is being added to my all-time favorites list for its beautiful ability to capture the feelings a person feels in the situations described in this book. READ IT! It’s even going on my re-read list, which consists of approximately three books so that is a rarity. This book simultaneously destroyed me and relieved me. Get excited because the sequel/prequel, “It Starts With Us” comes out October 18, 2022!

The Night She Disappeared by Lisa Jewell

3 out of 5 stars

I was honestly disappointed in this book. It received very good reviews and it was my first book by this author. I felt that there was more opportunity for twists and turns and shocking revelations than what was provided. I’ll probably give this author one more shot so if you know of a particularly good one by her, please leave a comment below!

The Hacienda by Isabel Canas

4 out of 5 stars

The Hacienda is dangerously close to a 5 star rating for me. This is this author’s debut novel and I definitely need more from her! The story grabbed me and held on to the end. A spooktacular and horrific story surrounding the history of a house in Mexico. Read this one! You won’t regret it. And if you have a taste for just a little bit more, you can listen to Book of The Month interview her on their podcast. You’re welcome.

Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid

5 out of 5 stars

Reid hasn’t disappointed me yet! This one ties for my favorite of hers with Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Reid has an amazing way of creating character depth and desire to follow their story. And if you haven’t picked up on it yet, she chooses a character from a previous book to turn into a major character in her next one. It’s a really unique and subtle concept. This book follows Mick Riva’s family. Mick Riva is one of Evelyn Hugo’s seven husbands.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

3 out of 5 stars

I really enjoyed the concept but I think the author’s writing style threw me off. After reading this book I have often looked at my regrets differently. The angle this book shows of if we went back to our regrets and made different decisions we might still not end up happy really put a twist on the present for me. It’s a really quick read if you’d like a philosophical twist on your summer reading.

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

5 out of 5 stars

I have loved every one of Emily Henry’s books! This one ties for top spot for me with her other novel, People We Meet On Vacation. This book taught me so much about editing novels as well which I loved and honestly it gives me a little more writer’s confidence. This novel falls in the romance category with a lot of glorious witty banter and sexual tension. Enjoy!

The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix

4 out of 5 stars

I loved the concept of this book and the crazy twists and turns! It is based off of a therapy group of women who were “final girls.” If you are not privy to what a final girl is, let me enlighten you. A final girl is the woman at the end of the slasher horror film who kills the killer and is the sole survivor. In this book, non-theatrical final girls who have been part of this secret support group for years start to be targeted one by one. This is the second Hendrix novel I’ve read and it was another great one. Grady Hendrix writes horror novels and he can get as dark and twisty as Stephen King. So, if you’re a King fan, definitely check this author out.

The post Books I Read in June 2022 first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

You never know where a writer will get their inspiration. It comes from the call of a particular bird they heard, the taste of a new dish, a street name, a co-worker’s personality, the list is endless. The smallest details can spark the greatest ideas. We also get inspiration from the words we consume. You have to read to write. You have to study the authors who came before you and learn the craft. I’ve been reading books for so long that I cant pin point one or even five particular influences on my fictional writing. What I can tell you, however, is where I got my poetic influence.

In 2016 “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur hit the New York Times Bestseller List. It took me 4 years to be convinced to jump on the bandwagon and finally get around to reading it. I was blown away by the power of her words and the feelings I had that she put on paper just right. It wasn’t always easy to read. Kaur’s writing includes triggers for sexual abuse, emotional abuse, depression, and anxiety. Just to name a few. She also writes about self-love and women empowerment. Some of her poems rhyme. Some do not. Some are long. Some are not. Some have hidden meanings. Some have meanings that punch you in the face. I thought to myself, “if poetry can be like that, I can do that.” And now, 2.5 years later I have over 40 poems written and Kaur has two more poetry books published. I was so hungry for more poets like Kaur that I went digging. I found Amanda Lovelace and her book, “The Princess Saves Herself In This One.” Lovelace puts a fairytale spin on triggering topics and also freeing topics like women empowerment. I’ve read and re-read all of their books countless times now.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Kaur came to Cleveland to do a poetry slam. I was a poetry slam virgin but HAD to go see her. I wanted to know what it was about. She read new poems and old ones, introducing each one with some background. Her presence grabbed your attention and held it. When she first came on stage, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much she looked like a celebrity in her emerald green velvet dress with the slit up the side and glittering jewelry. Seriously, I’ve never seen jewelry sparkle like that. But as the show went on, she started shifting her weight back and forth in her heels. The audience convinced her she didn’t need them and she did the rest of the show barefoot. It seems like a small thing but you could tell after that her shiny celebrity feel wore off and she felt like one of us. She even talked about her insecurity that she feels when her work is complimented like it was that night.

Below I’ve included some of my favorite poems by Rupi Kaur.

The post Where Inspiration Begins first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.

All of my life I’ve been hooked on words. It began with reading. I devoured books. I was the girl that read under her desk at school instead of listening to the teacher. I was the girl that got grounded from reading. I’m drawn to stories in all their forms: movies, tv shows, song lyrics, poems, fiction, etc. Eventually I decided to write my own stories. Unfortunately most of them I have deleted and are lost in the digital abyss. Sometimes I wish I could go back and read them. I’m sure they are absolutely awful, however, it would be nice to travel back in time to that teenage brain. Back then, I set a dream to get published. As an adult, I’ve turned it into a goal. Presently, I struggle with finding the time and energy to write something as lengthy as a novel even though I have two started. In therapy two and a half years ago my therapist suggested I try writing about my feelings to get them out. I have this issue where thoughts and feelings seem to get stuck inside and until I get them out I can’t get out of my head. Sometimes it feels like I’m going crazy. Writing them out worked but they started coming out as poems. For a while, I kept them as a secret tucked in close. I was afraid they weren’t good enough. I mean, in school you’re taught that poems are these lengthy, stiff structured pieces of work. I remember hating poetry in school. I didn’t like how deep you had to look for the meaning. In the last couple years though, a trend in poetry has emerged. It’s more in-your-face, blatant, and bold. That’s more of the style I write in.

To add to the struggles of a writer, there’s the fear of judgement. Everyone grapples with the fear of being judged but for a writer it’s your heart and soul on the page. In so many important relationships in my life I’ve felt disconnected and unsafe. As a result, I’ve swallowed feelings and shrunk myself to please them. There was one day though when I was reading The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah and I came across a line, “I always thought it was what I wanted: to be loved and admired. Now I think perhaps I’d like to be known.” After all, what’s the point of focusing on being liked when it leaves the bitter aftertaste of loneliness? That quote has given me so much strength to be myself. I guess you could call it one of my mantras. Ultimately, it’s one of a few quotes that have encouraged me to be brave and let you read my feelings on a page. My reason for sharing all of this, all of me, with you is in hopes that my words will reach someone somewhere and touch their soul like many others’ words have touched mine. Enjoy.

With words I have the 
Power 
to turn a memory
Sweet
to turn a memory
Sour
-poetry

It feels good to pick up a pen
and write the truth
instead of hiding
behind fiction
-the unleashing

She writes to feel
She reads to forget
-found in words

Sugar on my tongue
Hellfire ink in my pen
-let it burn

The post Introducing Me first appeared on Gabrielle Stetz.